he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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