i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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