meet me or not, i'm out of control
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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