Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
