he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
