Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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