I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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