Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
