Can Purell be used as lube?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
