i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
