Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
