Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
