I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
