im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize