come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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