Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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