Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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