So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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