Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
