she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
