I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
