he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
