id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
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You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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