I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
