Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
