AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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