So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
