she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
