Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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