Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
