my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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