Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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