No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
