We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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