You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We talked him into tasing himself.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You made out with two different species that night
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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