Will you blow on my dice?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
