Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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