Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
