You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm both gender and math confused
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
