The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
