i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize