I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
