i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
