btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
