ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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