Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
