your thong is hanging out like whoa
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My life is pants optional.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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