I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
