you would pick up someone in the library
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
