It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
