absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
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At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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