I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
