Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
