oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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