I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
