On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
