I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
