You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
