Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
