It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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