Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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